


off the edge

by Anonymous



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Eating, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, Emetophobia, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Vomiting, in a way.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:15:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26710501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Sora and Vanitas discuss an issue they share. Sora wants to help Vanitas.
Relationships: Sora & Vanitas (Kingdom Hearts), Sora/Vanitas (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 41
Collections: Anonymous





	off the edge

**Author's Note:**

> Uh. Yeah. I don't know what this is, really! I'm currently in the middle of a relapse, so I guess I wanted something happy for my boys :)! Not beta read because I just wanted this out and over with.
> 
> **TW: Eating Disorder/Disordered Eating, sort of Suicidal Thoughts, Eating + Food.**

Pain slams into him as he sinks down to his knees, but he pays it no mind. He clutches the porcelain bowl in front of him and heaves into it, his body shaking as today’s lunch comes back up. Revulsion wells up inside him, and he finds that his vision is blurry with unshed tears as he spits into the toilet. He flushes the toilet after he gets up, stumbling over to the sink to rinse his mouth out.

Someone knocks on the door.

“What?” he calls out, unable to keep the contempt in his voice. “I’m fine, leave me alone.” He’s mostly embarrassed over being unable to keep his lunch down, and he doesn’t want to show how weak he is in front of someone.

“Can you open the door?” a voice says from the other side. “I need to see that you’re okay.”

Rolling his eyes, he roughly turns the knob and lets the door swing open. The one with his face stands on the other end, a disgusting puppy-dog look on his face. “Vanitas…” he begins, but Vanitas cuts him off.

“There,” he snaps, crossing his arms. “You saw me. Now, leave me alone.”

“I can’t do that.”

“And why not, _So-ra?_ ” Vanitas mocks, leaning against the doorway. “I’m fine with being alone, you know. I’ve been alone for my whole life.”

“That doesn’t mean you should be,” Sora replies, face screwed up with determination. Seeing that expression on his face makes Vanitas grimace—he hopes he _never_ looks like that. “Can’t you see that I want to help you? That I want to be there for you? That I want to be your—” Sora stops, and strangely enough, his cheeks go pink.

“My…?” Vanitas prods. There’s a squirmy feeling in his stomach, and Vanitas hopes that he’s not going to be sick again.

“—friend,” Sora finishes quietly. “I want to be your friend.”

“Some people don’t think I’m friend material,” Vanita replies, ignoring the _longing_ that forms in his chest. It’s a fluke, clearly. He doesn’t feel things like that. “You’re wasting your time.”

“I don’t think so,” Sora says fiercely. “Now, tell me what’s wrong! Maybe I can help you?”

Vanitas would never admit this to anyone, but Sora’s determination and stubborn steak is a thing to admire. Perhaps that’s why Vanitas gives in, averting his gaze when he quietly admits, “I can’t keep my food down.”

He clenches his hands when silence follows, embarrassment threatening to drown him. Vanitas chances a glance at Sora and stiffens when he sees the _understanding_ on his face.

“What?” he spits out.

“I get it,” Sora says softly. “It turns into ash in your mouth, right? And forcing it down just makes you feel _sick,_ and then you keep eating and eating to appease everyone. But then it feels like knives stabbing into your stomach, and you feel like you're weighed down by everything you ate, and then you have no choice but to let it out, or else it’ll hurt for the rest of the night.”

Vanitas stares at him with wide eyes, and he’s surprised to see Sora suddenly flush (again) and look away.

“Maybe it’s not the same,” he says. “But I think I get how you feel, Vanitas.”

“B-But I see you down there all the time,” Vanitas whispers. “How do you—”

“—eat?” Sora finishes with a wry smile. “It’s not easy, I can admit that, but I figured out that if it’s bland enough I can force it down without any trouble. I can’t handle too much salt or sugar, though.” He shrugs, both hands on the back of his head. “I will admit, there are some days where I struggle with eating even though I can; I’d rather let myself waste away.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Vanitas croaks out. “Why not any of your friends that actually care about you, huh?” He sneers, but it’s not as strong as usual. “They’d do their best to help you, and then they’d leave me to suffer.”

“It’s not something I like to talk about,” Sora says quietly. “No one else knows besides you. I just—” He stops and takes a deep breath, and then continues. “I thought you’d like to know that you’re not alone and that I’m with you whether you like it or not.”

Vanitas stays quiet, for a moment, and then says, “Sometimes I wish I could waste away, too. It’d be so much easier.”

“We’re like two peas in a pod,” Sora says with dry humor.

Vanitas is surprised by the bark of laughter that he lets out. “I guess you could say that,” he replies, remnants of a smile on his face. It fades quickly when he asks, “How do you deal with it?” He pauses and adds, “The food thing, I mean.”

“Like I said, the blander the better. I’m slowly working my way up to seasoned things, but I’m still keeping it simple,” Sora says. He tilts his head. “I noticed you don’t really eat when certain people don’t make your food. Are you worried they did something to it?”

Vanitas wets his lips. “Yes,” he says. “I know people don’t like me, and some probably even hate me. I wouldn’t put it past them to try and poison my meal.” He chuckles. “I’d be pissed if it happened, but I’d also be impressed.”

“No one hates you,” Sora’s quick to assure. “And, if you’re really worried, I can taste test the food for you. I can even make something for you, and you can see if you like it my way!”

“You might be trying to poison me, too,” Vanitas says, but the argument is weak.

“I definitely don’t hate you, Vanitas,” Sora says brightly, and there’s that squirmy feeling again. Vanitas wonders what the hell it could be—worms? Unversed? He can’t figure it out.

“...I don’t hate you either,” Vanitas eventually says, and he feels something warm in his cheeks when Sora smiles brightly. He huffs and looks away, reaching up to try and rub the sensation away. Weird.

“Great!” Sora says, and he takes Vanitas’ hand (!!!), pulling him out of the bathroom. “How about we go have something right now, huh?”

“I threw up,” Vanitas deadpans. “My stomach won’t be able to handle anything right now.”

“Then let’s spend time together!” Sora continues. “I can show you my favorite spots for when I want to be alone, or we can go sit by the lake and take a nap in the sun.” He smiles at Vanitas, and his cheeks get hotter. Maybe he’s sick?

“Okay,” Vanitas finds himself saying. He feels… embarrassed, but also not embarrassed? It’s hard to describe, and Vanitas decides that he won’t think about it anymore. “But, uh, will you—tomorrow, will you—” He cuts himself off with a sigh, looking down at their joined hands.

“I’ll make you something tomorrow,” Sora says. Vanitas feels a finger under his chin, and he doesn’t even fight it when Sora gently lifts it so they’re looking into each other’s eyes. “Thanks for sharing that with me,” Sora murmurs. “I’ll do my best to make sure you eat.”

“I guess I’ll do the same,” Vanitas says. He wants to say something snarky, something to make Sora step out of his space (because this closeness is making his stomach all squirmy again), but he ends up speechless when Sora suddenly leans forward and kisses ( _kisses!!!_ ) his forehead.

“Uh,” he says eloquently. “What.”

Sora smiles brightly, eyes crinkling up. “Come on!” he says, tugging him out the door and not acknowledging what he just did. “Let’s go!”

Vanitas has no choice but to follow, and he thinks that if he _did_ have a choice, he would go with Sora regardless.

(The next day, Sora wakes him up early to make some breakfast. It’s nothing too crazy, just eggs on toast, and Sora takes the first bite in front of him, making encouraging noises as he’s chewing. 

Vanitas has some trepidation, but he also finds his strength after watching Sora take another bite. When he finally has some, he almost feels like crying when he can swallow it without gagging, and he practically scarfs down his meal.

And if they make their way back to the lake for another nap, and if he falls asleep with Sora’s arms around him, well—no one’s around to see.)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you.


End file.
